Some late night thoughts
You know what I’ve noticed? People have a strange ability at making me feel inadequate. I think it might be thesurroundings I’m in… no real peers around. I got all these people that are older than me, more experienced, and aware of it. I get a need to prove myself, and when I succeed, past my expectations, I’m proud. But I got some pretty high expectations of myself that become hard to pass when I’m focused on it.
So I’ve decided something. Screw everyone. I have some very specific personal goals set for myself. Those are the things I should worry about. I know where I want to be in five years from now. I know where I have to be in five months from now. I know what I have to do, and all the requirements for all of it. Another person’s opinion of me doesn’t and shouldn’t factor into it unless I am dependant on them to obtain my goals. And I want to eliminate as many of my dependancies as I can.
I need to sacrifice things. To get where I’m going I need to give up where I am. Above all, that includes my state of mind. My personal life should be a personal buisness. Every decesion made should be weighed and considered. That way, I’ll be able to sacrifice that next fast food stop for real groceries, or $10 of gas to get home.
I just need to find out how to jump over the hurdles.
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